The “Should Trap”: Why Authenticity in Marketing Matters

Have You Fallen Into the “Should Trap”?

There’s a particularly insidious form of self-sabotage that affects a lot of small business owners, and it doesn’t look like sabotage at all. It looks like professionalism. It looks like fitting in. It looks like doing things properly.

It’s called the Should Trap. And if your marketing has been feeling like an uphill struggle lately, it might be exactly what’s going on.

What the Should Trap looks like

The Should Trap starts with a feeling. Someone who does what you do should look a certain way. Should talk a certain way. Should present themselves in a certain way.

So you look around at others in your industry, absorb what seems to be the norm, and start making adjustments.

Maybe you soften your personality a bit. Use more formal language than comes naturally. Adopt a visual style that doesn’t really feel like you. Post content that looks right but feels hollow as you’re writing it.

None of it is conscious. It just feels like being professional.

Why it backfires

The problem is that people are remarkably good at sensing inauthenticity, even when they can’t put their finger on what’s wrong. Something just feels slightly off. There’s a disconnect they can’t quite name.

And that disconnect has two consequences:

1. Trust quietly erodes. Your audience doesn’t engage the way you’d hoped. Potential clients who might have been perfect for you scroll past without stopping, because nothing is landing.
2. Showing up gets harder and harder. When you’re performing a version of yourself rather than being yourself, creating content feels like a chore. Every post is an effort. Every photo feels slightly wrong. Marketing becomes something you dread rather than something that energises you.

The reality

Your future clients are not out there looking for the industry-standard version of what you do (or what your perception of what the industry-standard you is!). They’re looking for someone whose approach resonates with them specifically – whose values, personality and way of working feel like the right fit.

That person is you. Not the Should version of you. The actual you.

The most powerful thing you can do for your marketing is to give yourself permission to show up as you really are – and then make sure your photos, your videos, and your content actually reflect that.

A question worth sitting with

Think about the last piece of content you created that felt genuinely easy and natural. That you were actually pleased with when you posted it.

Chances are, it was the one where you stopped trying to get it right and just said what you actually thought. Do more of that!

And if you need help to show up as you, click here and let’s chat. Booking a shoot with me is much more than just the photos and videos. We work together to find the best way to help you present yourself – as you!